Rise of the Planet of the Apes

I will start by saying I feel completely scarred by Rise of the Planet of the Apes. If you have pets/animals and love them, just don’t go see this film. I think I had more “fun” watching Schindler’s List! That isn’t to say it’s a bad film, but boy oh boy…*long exhalation*. Before I get ahead of myself, let me see if I can break it down. Note: I really hate writing the summary part of my reviews (and maybe it shows), so if you’d like a proper one, you might want to look elsewhere, but here goes nothing:

James Franco plays Will Rodman, a geneticist working for a huge pharmaceutical company in San Francisco who is working on a miracle drug to cure Alzheimer’s; something that is very personal to him. This cure involves the brain regrowing damaged cells. Drug trials on chimpanzees are underway and there are complications. These complications lead him to taking home one-day old  chimp Cesar for just a couple days. But Cesar shows signs of enhanced intelligence because his mother had been a test subject and had passed some special genes onto him in the womb. Those couple days turn into years as Cesar grows into  becoming  part son, part pet and part time patient of Rodman (and his father, played by John Lithgow). But we all know this is going to end badly and so it does and tragically, Cesar is separated from Will and is sent to a primate center (but not the good kind unfortunately). Cesar’s treatment in the center, his heart break over being “abandoned” by Will and seeing the state of his fellow apes forever changes Cesar. At first broken down, he finds new resolve. And these changes in him lead to changes in his fellow ape “prisoners” and as the title (and previews) show, they do indeed rise up.

I did not enjoy this film. I repeat, there was ZERO enjoyment. However, that isn’t to say it wasn’t both fascinating and thrilling. What I found fascinating was watching Cesar’s transformation (through more than a few tears on my part) and how he and the other apes began to form a cohesive unit, teaching each other, cooperating and strategizing on how to change their situation. Their hard-fought rising up against the system (and the bully primate-center owners) brings about the thrills as you can’t help but cheer them on. Watching Cesar, played by Andy Serkis (who wowed as Gollum in Lord of the Rings) is impressive; he once again brings life and emotion to a CGI special effect. Also watching the swarms of apes (including mountain gorillas and orangutans) as they break out of confinement and race to reach the redwood forests of northern California is suspenseful and definitely exciting.

I’m not sure if I can actually recommend this film but you may find this helpful: in my opinion there are 3 types of people who shouldn’t see this film:

1. Animal lovers – I reckon donations to PETA and animal adoptions will be up once folks watch this film. Harrowing, heart-breaking and infuriating, I suspect anyone who loves animals will find this nowhere near “enjoyable” to watch. Engrossing, yes. Enjoyable, no way.

2. Animal haters – For this group of cold-hearted folks (Michael Vick, I’m looking at you), you may be completely unaffected by what normal, warm-blooded people find difficult to watch. You may even secretly like what these apes have to go through but when the apes rise up and get their own back, YOU, my friend, will be squirming in your seats wondering if Karma really does exist (by the way it does and you're screwed). 

3. People who expect actors to act – I’m no expert but let me tell you, the acting was pre-e-e-e-e-tty lame. Excuse me while I direct the next sentence to James Franco directly:, “Dear James, I think you must’ve been on the same drug cocktail during the making of this film that you were during this year’s Academy Awards. You registered no emotion in either face or voice. You were sleep walking!”  In addition Freida Pinto could only look pretty (it’s not her fault, she just had nothing to do) and James Lithgow was completely wasted as Franco’s Alzheimer-stricken father.

So if you somehow are not in any of these categories, then I encourage you to go see Rise of the Planet of The Apes and let me know how you find it. In fact, even if you ignore my warnings and go see it (at your own peril), please also let me know what you think and if I can appropriately respond with, “I told ya so.”


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Cowboys and Aliens

I tell you what, when I buy a ticket for a Steven Spielberg/Jon Favreau film, I suffer from the worst, highest expectations. It has to be awesome, right? It has to knock my socks off and make me want to go see it again, right? RIGHT? Well...this film shows me two things: one -I must address my magical thinking that creates such ridiculously high expectations (my shrink and I are hard work at that one) and two - even the greatest movie-making combo sometimes fall short of the "awesome" level and end up in the "quite good" one.

Set in a small, frontier town of New Mexico, Cowboys and Aliens tells a typical story of cowboys (good guys, bad guys and everything in between) and the not so typical story of the appearance of aliens who are snatching up the humans for who knows what purpose. Putting (many) differences and violence aside, the cowboys (and some Indians) band together to try to fight the aliens and save their kin who were snatched away. The cowboy alliance, who are desperately under-armed against alien technology, do have a couple things going from them. First, they have Daniel Craig. Suffering from amnesia, he is our unlikely hero who has his own unique weapon against the invaders. And secondly, there's also someone among the cowboy group who has a unique perspective and talent. Armed with guns, horses and terrible hygiene (more on that later), they attempt to not only survive the alien invaders, but perhaps even eradicate them.

I enjoyed the film, I didn't wish for my money back but it didn't knock my socks off. If you like cowboy films or alien films, I think this is a good choice for you.  Here are a few other observations that came to mind while watching Cowboys and Aliens:

Not so hot Daniel Craig

Daniel Craig is "sexy-ugly" (emphasis on ugly)!
I'd be so curious to know if anyone else watching this movie secretly wondered, "Wait, has Daniel Craig always looked like this? Has he always been this...ugly?" I know what you're thinking and I loved him in Casino Royale too. But he looks gaunt, quite slight (though very well cut; he works out a lot) and frankly kinda unattractive. However, when he's walking around the desert kicking ass like he does in this film, he exudes sexy! In the next film of his I watch, it'll be interesting to see what I think of him then.

Aliens are scary
If you think about it, Director Jon Favreau had a challenge on this film. How do you create awesome action scenes when you're pitting aliens with superb technology against cowboys with...colts and sticks of dynamite? Did he overcome this challenge? Well in my mind he did (only just) by making the aliens so awful to look at and watch. Instead of ass-kicking action scenes where lots of stuff blows up, I felt regularly terrified for these mere mortals who are trying any which way to make a decent stand against the gruesome invaders.

Couldn't find pics of aliens online so their ship will have to do

Can you say grubby?

Good god, get these people some soap on a rope!
Ohhhhh the grime. Like any true cowboy film, these are folks with some real hygiene challenges. The caked on dirt, blood and sweat (and other things I hasten to add) are quite vile to see. Thank goodness movie theater technology doesn't include odor-emissions (unless you're sat next to a 14 year old boy) because just seeing the levels of dirt was quite disgusting! Of all the characters, there's one who never looks dirty...Olivia Wilde's character. She always looks as clean and fresh as newly washed linen.

All in all, I enjoyed this film. I liked the casting (heavy hitters like Harrison Ford & Sam Rockwell do well with what they're given), the special effects did the trick (see scary aliens above) and most of all, I appreciated the originality of the premise. having said all of that, you'd probably be just as well waiting to rent it on DVD.

Harrison Ford & Sam Rockwell

What do you think, have you seen it? Did it bowl you over or just moderately entertain you?

Captain America

It's still (barely) summer here in England and with Summer comes big, Hollywood action movies! This week, I share my views on Captain America with entertainment news website Geno's World. To read about what I thought of this film, including my thoughts on its subtle patriotism, Hugo Weaving being awesome, montage silliness and rife stereotypes, click HERE to read my full review.

Falling Skies

Falling Skies recently debuted in the UK and at least for my part was eagerly anticipated. How engaging was it? How interesting and gripping? Well to give you an idea of the scope of its impact, while watching the 60 minute premier, I did the following things: fed my dog, balanced my checking account, retweeted links about kittens and baby giraffes, answered some work email, looked through the next week’s TV guide for interesting finds and began writing a review of something entirely different. This is what you would call a FAILURE in getting my interest.

Set in post alien invasion where all the human armies were decimated and capital cities obliterated, humans are forced to fight guerilla style for their survival against the badass aliens and their machinery. Not everyone confronted by aliens dies, some get a spinal back brace made of metals and alien parts that seem to make them hypnotized (and forced removal ends in death). The humans have to stay on the move, looking for supplies and trying to get a fighting advantage. The show follows Professor Tom Mason (played by ER alum Noah Wyle) who is a bookworm and has studied war tactics throughout the millennia. He and his 2 (or is it 3?) sons as well as his brother are all that’s left of their family.

Sounds promising, right? So where did it fall short? Let’s have a look at three ways Falling Skies just doesn’t cut the mustard.

1. Cliché Character Central
The central character (Wyle) is the only character remotely interesting. As for the rest, the appearance of these typical cliché characters had me rolling my eyes. Among others, there was the hothead brother, the crusty and hard-nosed military leader, a smart yet pretty young female doctor, smart-ass kids, a kind older couple (how did they outrun the aliens?) who drive their campervan and are surrogate grandparents. Don’t forget the 2 young  black guys who bring a bit of urban hip-hop to the dialogue (this stereotype is rather disturbing, kind of like those two Transformers who are “down” with the urban scene). If the characters are simply carbon-copies of countless programs before it, you lose credibility, at least with me.

2. Anyone else having a bad case of déjà vu?
I love a good sci-fi program, one where there are cool weapons, excellent special effects and where lots of sh&t blows up, but when it comes to Falling Skies, I’ve seen this allllll before. It’s an uninspired remix of War of the Worlds, Independence Day and The Walking Dead. 

3. Can anything ever come of this?
This point of disappointment isn’t actually the fault of Falling Skies. It’s fatigue…mine to be exact. As in the aforementioned point, I love these kinds of shows but at some stage I realize there can never be any satisfaction. The aliens can never be beaten (until final episode). So what’s the point, I wonder? Why do I want to go through the stress every week of the grim decimation of the human race when I know it’ll be the same thing every week? It’s the same with The Walking Dead (though that show has developed characters who make it worth watching, at least the 1st season), V (I really liked this show until I realized it’s the same damn thing every week). Note: only Battlestar Gallactica managed to avoid this fate. I tuned in every week for that show because of the amazing writing and deeper themes despite the stress of it.

Although Falling Skies may remain on the DVR schedule (I have to have something on while I’m writing for my blog, cleaning the house or paying bills), I’m afraid it will never really hold my interest or make me really care what happens.

Bridesmaids

If you're like me, you've heard all the great buzz about this movie, that it's one of the funniest movies of the year while having some touching moments. You and your girlfriends (or your mother in my case) or even in some cases your boyfriend skip off to the cinema to lots of laughter. And for the record, there was laughter, smiles and chuckles but to be honest, it wasn't what I expected and it was a tad discombobulating for me! So to save you from the same discombobulation (how many times can "discombobulate" be legitimately used in one review, I ask myself?), I'm here to help. Therefore, I'm sharing with you:

3 Things You Should Know Before Seeing Bridesmaids

1. Touchy-feely-stinky-gross
Our protagonist, Annie (brilliantly played by Kristen Wiig), is having some major issues in her life. Work, love, money, sex...let's just say Annie is not having a good time of it. However, her friendship with her best friend Lillian is the most meaningful thing in Annie's life as the movie begins. Their initial scenes in the cafe (where the actors did a lot of improvisation I’ve read) are truly charming and very natural - very much how two girlfriends talk. Lillian's getting married and Annie is to be the maid of honour. "Awww, this is exactly what I hoped this movie would be", I remember thinking. Cue not so much later some shocking scenes of toilet humour usually reserved for the likes of The Hangover! Vomit, sweat, explosive diarrhea...just right there in your face! Had the movie suddenly turned into Jackass 3D? As someone who lives in Britain, I embrace toilet humour; we just love laughing at our bowel movements, farts and any other manner of gross things. Still, if you are expecting this movie to be all sentiment and sweet laughter, think again! They mix it up, big time!

Oh dear, what's happening here?

2. I’m laughing! No, I’m crying!
Just last night a friend of mine told me she was going to see the movie that evening. She'd been struggling with a few things and was ready for a real laugh, a real pick-me-up. My response was, "Oooooooookay....well...yes...it is a very entertaining movie and quite funny. I chuckled, snorted and out-right laughed many times. BUT for the record, my heart hurt through most of it!" Why was this, you ask?

Watching Annie's life continue to break down and fall apart: the humiliation, the loneliness, the lack of self-respect (and therefore lack of respect shown her), the loss of her security, the change in her friendship with Lillian (the bride), her progress into her own rock-bottom was painful to watch! But if I'd known that going in, it wouldn't have bothered me so much. But like my dear, sweet, innocent friend last night, she wanted a movie to help her escape from her own pain, but my experience was it resonated deep within me (I think most women will identify with Annie on some deep level). So rather than relieving me of the burden of myself, it focused in on my own "issues". Right...I will now take a break from writing this review to call my shrink to make an urgent appointment, be with you in a sec...okay, appointment made...normalcy here I come...riiiiight?

Best friends since childhood Annie & Lillian

3. One day at a time
Now, the third thing is noooo biggy. I suppose you could argue that this really isn't anything you need to know before seeing the movie. But why not take a moment to let you know something that you may question when you watch Bridesmaids, that you may say, "Hmmm, is that so?" so I will declare it now in this review to live on forever (or until my Go Daddy domain expires). Ready? Here is is: AA is for alcoholics as in alcoholics who have actually drunk alcoholically. You'll know what I mean when you watch it.

So there you have it. Thanks to this insightful and not at all self-indulgent review, you can now go forth and watch Bridesmaids and it'll be everything you want it to be at more because I will have prepared you for the things that discombobulated me (that's 4 times I've used it for those of you counting as we go) . In fact, this review is soooooo useful I may just go and see Bridesmaids again and then I can hopefully report back to my psychiatrist how much less it hurt my soul the second time.

What do you think, have you seen it? Was it what you expected? Do you agree/disagree?

Wallander

Perusing the recorded TV programs on my DVR says a lot about my interests and some might say my mental health. But I make no apologies! I like what I like and that's that. However, there are a few things you might glean from seeing what I record on a week to week basis:   First of all, I will never apologize for my love of Charmed and my desire to watch reruns (traditionally after work with a cup of tea). Secondly, I do have a morbid curiosity for the macabre (is that a redundant statement?) as evidenced by Criminal Minds, Silent Witness and Forensic Files. Thirdly, I love crime-dramas. When I find a tense and unpredictable crime-drama that pulls me in (like The Killing earlier this year I was absolutely crazy about or my current enjoyment of The Shadow Line), I am so excited! And right up there on my list of, "Oh goody, I can't wait to watch this week's episode" shows is the Swedish detective series Wallander.

Wallander, based on novels written by Henning Mankell, which have been going strong for twenty years, follows Detective Kurt Wallander, who while a brilliant detective, is not exactly a happy camper. Prone to anger, depression and ill-health, he is an unlikely protagonist as he and the police department tackle all manner of serious crimes in Malmo, a seaside Swedish city in the southern province of Skåne. More details about the history of him and the show can be found online but here are 3 of the numerous reasons why I love Wallander and always look forward to it!

1. Moody Tension
I love the atmosphere the producers create week in and week out. The music, lighting and pace all add to a kind of sad but not hopeless mood. Each story unfolds as the tension builds like a slow but steady spring. Kurt and his team, including the lead prosecutor (who happens to be a strong and sexy woman who is in fact his superior which adds to the tension) do what seems like "real" policework. It's not all flash and technology but a lot of the mundane, looking for a crack in the case (which always comes). Wallander is a tortured soul and actor Krister Henriksson is absolutely brilliant walking the fine line showing his obvious faults but leaving us in no doubt he's our hero.

2. Juissi
Wallander loves his dog, Juissi. Juissi, a chocolate lab, often accompanies Kurt to work and Kurt is his "softest" when talking to Juissi, walking him or referring to him (could be true for all of us). It may not sound like a big deal but for a lonely workaholic like Kurt Wallander, his dutiful companion Juissi is actually key in forming the character which we come to love. Note: the Kenneth Brannagh version does not have a dog and that is unfortunate!

3. Subtitles
They don't scare me! Swedish is a fascinating-sounding language (a lot more depth than the Swedish chef from the Muppet Show would make you believe). I am utterly intrigued by the sounds of their language, of the words that are the same or similar in English and matching up words to the subtitles. When characters are having a heated argument, I swear to you, it's even MORE interesting that it's in Swedish!

If you're only able to watch the BBC version (produced by and starring Kenneth Brannagh), then it's a very worthy attempt and you probably won't be disappointed. I've seen a few episodes and it manages to achieve the melancholy atmosphere. The plot lines succeed as they're tried and tested in the books and Swedish TV show. But for my money, the original is much better. I haven't nearly seen them all and hope BBC continues to air the show, repeats and all. And if they do, Wallander will always be found in my DVR list!