Iron Man 2

I can't remember if I was a fan of Iron Man. I don't remember a lot about it. Was I on drugs or something? No, don't believe so, unless someone slipped a mickey in my bag of peanut M&M's (which go so well with salted popcorn, by the way). Perhaps Iron Man just wasn't that memorable. So then  why would I go see Iron Man 2 at 5:00pm on a Thursday afternoon? Simple answer: power outage. With no electricity at home, I headed to one of my favorite places and caught the first of the summer blockbusters.

Iron Man 2 follows the story of Tony Stark, who is how Donald Trump would be if he were a) younger and actually handsome b) a MENSA IQ physicist and c) had charisma. Stark, played by Robert Downey Junior, is a narcissistic, brilliant and multi-billionaire owner and proprietor of the Iron Man suit. And when the US government wants that suit as a matter of national security, Tony Stark balks at this. He IS Iron Man and therefore handing the suit over would be on a par with indentured servitude, he declares at a Senate Arms hearing. He also congratulates himself on being the reason for global peace and the successful privatization of the military (did I mention he's a narcissist? He also harbors a secret from everyone, even Pepper (Gwenyth Paltrow), which is that the energy source palladium, which his body's power core (and that of the suit) rely upon is actually poisoning him slowly but surely. Tony Stark's and Iron Man's survival is bleak and Stark's priorities get shaken with the realization of imminent mortality.

Meanwhile Ivan Vanklo, played by Mickey Rourke, in some dump in Moscow, considers Tony Stark's father to be a thief of monumnetal proportions because Ivan's father, also a physicist, worked with Stark Senior developing the Iron man technology and was rewarded with a life in Siberia for his troubles. So revenge he is after and finds his opportunity to make Tony Stark pay, aided by a shifty and unscrupulous arms manufacturer played by Sam Rockwell.

As far as what I think about it...well you know when you're a kid and when someone is trying to find something and as they move around the room you direct them doing the "you're cold...now you're luke-warm, getting warmer, hot, you're BURNING hot..." game?

You are freezing, I mean colder than absolute zero

Answer me this, when is Samuel L. Jackson not playing Samuel L. Jackson in any film? And why is he either scarred, disabled or with an eye-patch, as he is in this one? He's so one-note and that note is such a strong note that it invalidates any believability a film is trying to deliver. And then there's Scarlett Johansen...wow, that girl is stunning but I will not be watching any spin-off movie she's lobbying to star in. She is ridiculous in this film, some super-spy martial arts whiz a la The Matrix but with a superhero costume and a bad weave. No. No. NO! Speaking of which, I found it interesting the two women (Scarlett and Gwyneth) are dressed in the most inappropriate dresses and high heels (they are supposedly working at the CEO level of a business, yeah right). Their bodies are contorted into some sort of "S" shape. Their dresses have weird silhouettes which look like there's no definition between their stomach and chest, merging as part of the "S". Trust me, now that you've read that, you will see what I mean (and resent me for pointing out the distraction).

Okay now you're luke-warm, like deviled eggs at a picnic
Gwyneth Paltrow reprises her role as Pepper, Stark's spunky and straight-laced assistant. The banter between Pepper and Stark is one of the parts of the movie that feels natural and adorable, like feisty, verbal foreplay. Jon Favreau plays Happy, Stark's driver (though his big credit is he directed this film) and has a few cute moments. I also found Garry Shandling an interesting casting choice as a Congressman, hell bent on getting Stark's Iron Man suit in government custody. Hard to believe he once had a successful career as a comedic actor (loved The Larry Sanders Show); he does a decent job of being a manipulative and pontificating lawmaker. The action scenes mostly deliver (though it's so hard to surprise audiences anymore). The sound effects make a difference and are pretty intense.

You're getting hotter
It's all about the actors in this film. Mickey Rourke is such a badass. He's so ugly, so utterly this character, he's brilliant! I'm even willing to overlook the fact we're supposed to believe he is a physicist (how many tattoo wearing, silver teeth donning, tanning bed owning scientists do you know?) It's almost the makings of a sexy-ugly status, but he can never reside on my "sexy-ugly" list because he has the most abhorrent hands/fingers/fingernails of any working actor in the history of Hollywood. They are gross, as in GUH-ROSS. Those nails are distractingly disturbing (I noticed them in The Wrestler as well, yuck).

Sam Rockwell plays a supporting character, the unscrupulous arms manufacturer, Justin Hammer. He almost steals every scene, he's so infinitely watchable. He does such a good job on what could have been just a one-sided portrayal. You can imagine the back-story: that Hammer is the son of a wealthy oilman, who's probably tried and failed at different ventures and he's trying to prove himself yet again (can you say George W. Bush?). His insecurity leaves him trying to get the ladies, always overdressed and using fake tan (there's a scene where you can see the orange on the palms of his hands a la someone who's used the tanning cream but not adequately washed his hands afterward; it's not explained but I spotted it and totally fits).

It's like searing you alive, you're burning up
The film well and truly belongs to Robert Downey Jr. He plays this ego-centric and rather complex character in such a way that makes him funny, empathetic and human. I enjoyed this film primarily because of him. Like in Sherlock Holmes, Downey just has screen presence and so totally owns this character, you can overlook deficiencies in story and dialogue because he's in it. In addition, the soundtrack simply rocked it. From AC/DC to a funky mashup during a fight scene, that's a soundtrack I may need to download. To watch the trailer, click HERE.  

I think...it's down to the fantastic performances of Robert Downey Jr., Mickey Rourke and Sam Rockwell that make this film as entertaining as it is and worth seeing.


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